As we've already established, Stress is in the "Eye" of the Beholder in that each person's stress pattern and stress tolerance is different for different situations. This pattern (or "Stress Signature") of how each of us handles stress is created by the trauma we experience in our earlier lives and how we learned how to adapt to the negative thoughts, beliefs, feelings and behaviors we developed as a result of those events.

Before we continue farther, it would be beneficial if we learned more about what this trauma is that developed the foundation for our mental and emotional health. 

Stressed our woman
What Causes Our Negative Thoughts/Beliefs, Feelings and Dysfunctional Behaviors? 

The picture below illustrates how our trauma, or our Adverse Childhood Experiences, in earlier life impacts and forms the "roots" of our dysfunctional mental and emotional development. These "roots" then develop negative thoughts and beliefs which create our negative feelings and dysfunctional acting-out behaviors.


According to the Adverse Childhood Experiences study, the more Adverse Childhood Experiences we have in our childhoods, the more dysfunctional our lives will become in all areas of our lives, including mental, emotional, physical, financial, general well-being, illness, disease and even early death. 

Trauma Tree

To explain this process more thoroughly, please refer to the following information:

The Behavioral Process
[according to the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (C.B.T.) equation] 
Your thoughts/beliefs = your feelings = your behaviors


 Positive thoughts/beliefs = positive feelings = positive behaviors  

Negative thoughts/beliefs = negative feelings = negative behaviors  

Therefore, your thoughts/beliefs = your reality    ​​

So, if you start off with positive experiences you will end up with positive thoughts and beliefs you will end up with wonderful positive feelings and behaviors.


And, if you start out with negative or Adverse Childhood Experiences you will develop negative thoughts or beliefs that will create your negative feelings and negative/dysfunctional behaviors.


And, these equations become self-fulfilling prophesies, which means that if you start off with negative thoughts and beliefs, no matter what you do, and no matter how much positive thinking you try to do over the unconscious negative thoughts/beliefs, you will always eventually will end up with those old negative behaviors and feelings.

All negative beliefs come from the trauma,  
either real or perceived 

We are especially vulnerable to the trauma, distress and/or stress during our early years when our minds and emotions are still developing. Our negative thoughts, beliefs and feelings then become deeply entrenched and very hard to change at that stage.

In order to change these default feelings and behaviors you have to change your thoughts and beliefs. And, in order to do that you have to do more try to force yourself to think positive thoughts on a conscious level. The change has to come from within your unconscious. 

Since traumatic, distressful and stressful situations causes the negative thoughts and beliefs that then cause one's negative feelings and behaviors, the only way to change these thoughts and beliefs is to RELEASE the negative thoughts and beliefs by RELEASING the original trauma, distress or stress that caused the negative thought or belief to begin with. When you RELEASE these traumatic episodes from the psyche, the negative thoughts and beliefs created from those traumatic experiences are RELEASED as well.


Therefore, the negative feelings and negative behaviors

caused by those negative thoughts and beliefs






 (914) 391-4350

Very knowledgeable and experienced therapist
  • LinkedIn
  • Facebook
  • Twitter