Conditioning Corner

January, 2019 Newsletter

So why are some people more confident, successful, and seem to have an easier time with life in general while others are more insecure, less happy and less successful? Like I said earlier, it's mostly because of the "conditioning" we experienced in our living environments in our younger years. (Yes, genetics has something to do with it also but not nearly as much as what was previously thought. We will talk more in depth about this at a later date.) For most of us our "living environments" were our homes with our family of origin, but for some "living environments" meant growing up with extended family, in foster families, orphanages, etc.

So why are some people more confident, successful, and seem to have an easier time with life in general while others are more insecure, less happy and less successful? Like I said earlier, it's mostly because of the "conditioning" we experienced in our living environments in our younger years. (Yes, genetics has something to do with it also but not nearly as much as what was previously thought. We will talk more in depth about this at a later date.) For most of us our "living environments" were our homes with our family of origin, but for some "living environments" meant growing up with extended family, in foster families, orphanages, etc.

Reinforcement is defined simply as, "the action or process of strengthening...The process of encouraging or establishing a belief or pattern of behavior.." 

Reinforcement is defined simply as, "the action or process of strengthening...The process of encouraging or establishing a belief or pattern of behavior.." 

Overwhelmed adolescent
Happy-teenage-boy.gif

I would like to make this as simply as possible. It turns out that the literature about positive and negative reinforcement was a bit more complicated than I wanted to present here. What I want to convey is that if you grow up getting more positive feedback than negative, having more positive experiences than not, you are probably going to grow up being more well adjusted, meaning happier, healthier, more successful in work, relationships, etc. And, if you grow up with more negative feedback and having more negative experiences in your childhood, you are most likely not going to be as confident, secure, happy in work/career, relationships or life in general.

I would like to make this as simply as possible. It turns out that the literature about positive and negative reinforcement was a bit more complicated than I wanted to present here. What I want to convey is that if you grow up getting more positive feedback than negative, having more positive experiences than not, you are probably going to grow up being more well adjusted, meaning happier, healthier, more successful in work, relationships, etc. And, if you grow up with more negative feedback and having more negative experiences in your childhood, you are most likely not going to be as confident, secure, happy in work/career, relationships or life in general.

So why do I say this? Because of the following:


According to the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (C.B.T.) equation:
   
Your thoughts/beliefs = your feelings = your behaviors

 

which means,  

 Positive thoughts/beliefs = positive feelings = positive behaviors  

 Negative thoughts/beliefs = negative feelings = negative behaviors  

 

and,   

 

Positive thoughts/beliefs = positive feelings = positive behaviors

come from Positive Experiences in life

 

and,   

 

Negative thoughts/beliefs = negative feelings = negative behaviors

come from Negative or Adverse Experiences in life

So why do I say this? Because of the following:


According to the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (C.B.T.) equation:
   
Your thoughts/beliefs = your feelings = your behaviors

 

which means,  

 Positive thoughts/beliefs = positive feelings = positive behaviors  

 Negative thoughts/beliefs = negative feelings = negative behaviors  

 

and,   

 

Positive thoughts/beliefs = positive feelings = positive behaviors

come from Positive Experiences in life

 

and,   

 

Negative thoughts/beliefs = negative feelings = negative behaviors

come from Negative or Adverse Experiences in life

The more negative experiences we have, especially in early childhood, the more negative thoughts and beliefs we develop about ourselves and the world around us, resulting in more negative or dysfunctional behaviors that play out in relationships, our career choices and environments, etc.. 

The more positive experiences we have in life, especially in early childhood, the more positive thoughts and beliefs we have about ourselves and the world around us, resulting in more positive feelings and positive outcomes in relation to our behaviors or what we do in the remainder of our lives.

The more negative experiences we have, especially in early childhood, the more negative thoughts and beliefs we develop about ourselves and the world around us, resulting in more negative or dysfunctional behaviors that play out in relationships, our career choices and environments, etc.. 

The more positive experiences we have in life, especially in early childhood, the more positive thoughts and beliefs we have about ourselves and the world around us, resulting in more positive feelings and positive outcomes in relation to our behaviors or what we do in the remainder of our lives.

So, if gone unchecked the our negative thoughts and beliefs that we got from our earlier negative experiences in life will continue to create more negative feelings and negative/dysfunctional behaviors (i.e., our anxiety, worry, fear, panic, depression, anger, guilt and even physical pain, etc.). If you work with these old memories causing the negativity in your life, you can Release them. Yes, I said you can Release them so you don't have to deal with them anymore and so you can have more confidence, feel more secure, and be happier, healthier, and live a prosperous life.

So, if gone unchecked the our negative thoughts and beliefs that we got from our earlier negative experiences in life will continue to create more negative feelings and negative/dysfunctional behaviors (i.e., our anxiety, worry, fear, panic, depression, anger, guilt and even physical pain, etc.). If you work with these old memories causing the negativity in your life, you can Release them. Yes, I said you can Release them so you don't have to deal with them anymore and so you can have more confidence, feel more secure, and be happier, healthier, and live a prosperous life.

GIVE ME A CALL!

 

I WILL HELP YOU

TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE!

 

(914) 242-3484

Very knowledgeable and experienced therapist
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Dave Dodge, L.C.S.W.
Mt. Kisco, N.Y.
(914) 242-3484
Skype and telephone sessions are also available
Skype name - dave.dodge11

Please also visit my other website for more information on how I can help you.

I am a therapist with over 40 years of experience working with people to help them resolve the issues that are creating problems in their life. I am Certified and trained in a number of alternative therapies that are quicker, easier and much more effective than talk therapy in releasing one's issues.