So, this is my story. When I say it's my "Story" I mean exactly that. It is the old "Story" that was a result of my past experiences, not who I really am.
From Trauma to Resilience - a long road but I'm doing it and feeling better and better as I go.
Like many people (I'm going to say everybody in one way or another) I got pretty screwed up mentally and emotionally when I was a kid. There was no real physical abuse or sexual abuse but boy did I seem to get a lot of emotional abuse.
Who knew that these issues would follow me throughout my life. In a sense, believe it or not, I am very grateful now (in some ways) that I got so screwed up. Because of that my rather relentless search to learn how to get unscrewed up led me on a journey to find very effective ways to let go of my screwedupness and now I am able to help others let go of their screwedupness as well. And I love doing this. Not only do I love helping others Release the issues that have been plaguing them all their lives, but I also love finding new, effective ways to permanently Release one's negative thoughts, beliefs and feelings.
As we've already established, Stress is in the "Eye" of the Beholder in that each person's stress pattern and stress tolerance is different for different situations. This pattern (or "Stress Signature") of how each of us handles stress is created by the trauma we experience in our earlier lives and how we learned how to adapt to the negative thoughts, beliefs, feelings and behaviors we developed as a result of those events.
An example of a more complex trauma and one that caused a major negative belief in me and wreaked havoc in my life for close to 40 years was my belief that I was stupid. The crazy thing about this belief is it started when I was 10 years old or so and going from 6th grade into 7th grade.
My mother and stepfather found out from my 6th grade teacher that I was going into the Honors Program in 7th grade because I had done so well in elementary school. My stepfather was particularly miffed when he heard the news. We didn't get along well to begin with since he married my mother when I was five, and this just seemed to put him over the top.
His sons were older than me and both were in high school vocational programs. My older real brother was in College Prep and my going into an Honors Program just seemed to be too much for my stepfather. From that point on, because of his emotional insecurity with the situation, he found a way to call me stupid or show me that I was stupid in some way or another which seemed to be an average of five times a day.
This constant barrage "made me feel" more and more stupid (and very angry) as the years went by (even though the incredible irony was that the whole thing started because I was so smart that I got into Honors). So, in 7th grade I was in Honors, in 8th grade I went to a "lower" class (pre-honors). In 9th grade I went even lower to college prep. As I continued through high school I sank lower and lower in my academic standing until by the end of 12th grade my guidance counselor said I would be lucky to get into a trade school. Not putting down trade schools, but that's not what I wanted to do.
It took me four colleges and twenty years to get my Bachelor's Degree (at 40 yrs. old). At forty I was back on top, getting into Columbia University after achieving Summa Cum Laude in Social Work in the last college I attended to get my Bachelor's Degree. And, I was also listed in Who's Who of American Colleges and Universities that year because of my accomplishments. However, when I graduated from my Social Work program I still didn't attend my graduation. I didn't give that great accomplishment to myself then.
Three years later I went to the Columbia University book store and bought myself one of those tassels that go on a graduation cap and hung it on my mirror in my car. This was when I was 43 years old. And, even though I continue to work on and Release my issues, I still have the "scars" that prevent me from fully being in my power in relation to my intelligence, therefore impeding on my living a fulfilled, happy life.
I tell this story because it is the epitome of what a negative belief can do to someone, even though the negative belief was not true at all. As a matter of fact, the truth was the complete opposite of the negative belief that I thought I was stupid. What started me on the path of believing that I was stupid started when my stepfather got jealous and systematically conditioned me to think I was stupid when he heard I got into the Honors Program in 7th grade.In the beginning of this section,
This is an example of a more complex trauma. By that I mean that it was my stepfather's systematic abuse over years, combined with other factors, that made me "lose" my intelligence. And this was only one of my issues even though it was quite a big issue in that it was so pervasive in all aspects of my life at the time, causing my feelings of self-competence, confidence, self-esteem and overall feelings of insecurity that affected my work, my relationships. and even my physical well-being, being sick a lot in my younger years.
Because of my issues I went into therapy in my mid 20's. I was in talk therapy for 10 years total with three different therapists back then. As much as I felt that I benefited by having someone to talk to (something totally new in my life) and the last male therapist having been the father figure I never had, I still walked out of therapy after those 10 years having as much anger/rage and still having anxiety and bouts of depression.
The talk therapy didn't do it for me. So I started looking for other methods that would help me release my anger and rage specifically because that was my biggest problem at that time. I feel like I was led down a path, finding one method after another and using them on myself and eventually with my clients to help release the unwanted negativity in our lives that was causing all our problems.
E.M.D.R. (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) was the first method that I found to be very effective in letting go of some traumatic experiences from my childhood that get stuck in my brain (as it does with all of us). From the traumatic experiences come the negative thoughts/beliefs, feelings and dysfunctional behaviors that cause our problems in life.
After I experienced E.M.D.R. in my own therapy I then got trained in it so I could use it with my clients in my therapy practice. E.M.D.R. proved to be a little more intense than some people were comfortable with so I started looking for and getting trained in other modalities so I would have something for everybody and they could chose the method that was most appropriate for them.
After I got trained in E.M.D.R. in the mid 90's I learned a form of E.F.T. (Emotional Freedom Techniques), an acupressure technique that cleared negative thoughts/beliefs and feelings. After that I got trained in Hypnosis, and then became aware of and gained copious knowledge of W.H.E.E. Therapy (a very effective combination of E.M.D.R. and E.F.T.).
In 2006, I learned about Brainspotting which turns out to be one of my favorite methods because of its simplicity and effectiveness. I have been Certified in this method for a number of years now. And, I also have a great deal of knowledge about the Ask and Receive method, The Sedona Method, Parts Therapy and I continue to learn about new methods all the time.
Why my story is a rather incredible one is because I used the methods I'm introducing to you on this website to heal my own childhood "wounds". I came from being a very low self-esteem, emotionally dysfunctional "rageaholic" to someone who, for the most part, is now pretty calm and content. I came from hating myself to actually liking myself, and being very grateful for my transformation. And now I get to do what I love in life, to help others let go of their negative thoughts/beliefs that have caused the negative feelings and dysfunctional behaviors in their lives. Thank you for the opportunity!
Explore the website and see what issues you have a problem with
and what methods you want to use to let them go, ONCE AND FOR ALL!