about Therapy and our
Our thoughts = our feelings = our behaviors
Our thoughts/beliefs determine how we feel about ourselves. Then we act out those feelings through our behaviors. So, our positive thoughts and beliefs lead to positive behaviors, and our negative thoughts and beliefs lead to our negative or dysfunctional behaviors. (This is not just my philosophy, this is the basis of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, the current therapy standard in psychology today.)
It then logically follows that our thoughts create our reality. We create our reality by what we are thinking at the time. This formula turns out to be a key to life in the sense that if you learn how to change you negative thoughts into positive ones you will then be able to change the course of your life, from negative to positive.
We all get "screwed up
When I talk about getting "screwed up" I speak in a more humorous sense to universalize this common phenomenon in the human race. Because we are human, and our parents are/were human and our ancestors were human, we all have those human characteristics of not being perfect. We all have insecurities and those things we don't like about ourselves in some area of our lives (some more than others perhaps). But we are all "screwed up" and those of us that want to get more out of life need to work on those issues that are blocking their path. I am here to help you remove those obstacles.
Below I talk about a belief system of many various cultures, including Native American culture, that we all get screwed up for spiritual reasons, being given our "lessons" to learn from so we can transcend beyond these "lessons" to attain higher levels of spiritual evolution. Of course, believing in this philosophy is not a prerequisite to getting better. But, if you want to feel better and get more of those things you want in your life, you do have to let go of the negative beliefs and transform them into positive beliefs.
All negatives thoughts come from trauma
All negative thoughts/beliefs and behaviors come from some kind of trauma in our lives, (mostly from our earlier lives). None of us come out of this period of our lives unscathed. We all get emotionally affected one way or another. Those hurts we experience alter our lives in one way or another from that point on. How we cope with those hurts may depend on our home environments at the time as well as other factors. If they were supportive, nurturing, and encouraging environments, the hurts may affect us less over time. If the contrary exists in our home environments, the traumas in our life will take a larger toll, leading to more and more dysfunction in our lives as time goes by. Because of this very important factor, I have made it my part of my purpose as a therapist to create a very supportive, nurturing, and encouraging environment, where you can feel safe to work out your negative thoughts, feelings and behaviors.
You don't have to be in therapy for years
I have developed a system of therapy that bypasses the need to dwell on or rehash those negative events over and over again as you would in traditional talk therapy, saving you time and unnecessary pain from being retraumatized repeatedly every time you bring up your issues. The methods I use will help you resolve these issues much quicker, easier and more effectively.
Depending on the client's preferences, an exorbitant amount of time doesn't have to be spent talking about, and rehashing, all the negative things that happened to you throughout your life. This constant rehashing of old memories can serve to retraumatize you on a regular basis if you just keep talking about the painful feelings attached to these negative experiences without doing anything to change them. (Of course, this is all left up to each individual client, based on where each client is at and what the client wants to do in their own individualized therapy sessions. More of a talk therapy format is preferred by those clients who are newer to therapy and this if fulling accepted and encouraged. Therapy is a process, like peeling an onion and I start at whatever layer of the onion the client wishes to go.)
I say that you don't have to spent a lot of time talking about your past because all that matters are the negative beliefs, negative feelings, and negative behaviors you have when you walk through the door of my office for our 1st meeting. These are going to be the issues that you're going to be working on in therapy. As a matter of fact, these are going to be the things that make up your Treatment Plan while in therapy. These are the things you don’t like about yourself, the things you "beat" yourself up for, the things you want to change about yourself. These are the reasons for the negativity in your life. The object, of course, will be to transform the negatives into the positives. When you change your negatives into positives your life will change accordingly. And, I have the methods and techniques to help you do just that, quicker, easier, and more effectively than traditional talktherapy.
I will teach you how to "soothe" yourself
The total of all our negativity and dysfunction has to do with our thinking. The more negative thinking we have going on in our mind, the more the dysfunction will show up in our life. Take a moment and think about, on a scale of 0-10, with 10 being the most stressed, how stressed out is your mind right now? We all have "stress" in our life but excessive stress has to do with us thinking negatively somehow.
Now, think of or make a list of how many ways you use to reduce this stress. If you have a number of ways to effectively reduce this stress and utilize those methods on an ongoing basis, you probably would not be reading this information on my website right now. Because if you were utilizing effective ways to handle stress, you wouldn't need to look elsewhere for this information. You would be doing it. Not that "bad" things aren't going to happen to us but, if you "change the way you look at things, those things you look at will change" into less stressful, more manageable problems. I will teach you how to make your problems more manageable and easier to deal with on a regular basis.
I will teach you how to "heal" yourself
The world is a reflection of ourselves. Those things we don't like about others is what we don't like about ourselves. And, what we like about others, we like about ourselves. Our judgemental or blaming behaviors are really a manifestation of what we don't like about ourselves. So, if you find yourself pointing the "finger" of judgement or blame, look within yourself at that moment and see what it is you don't like about yourself. When you realize and accept that all those people "out there" that annoy you or "push your buttons" only represent what you don't like about yourself on some level, you will be a step closer to being able to soothe and heal that part of yourself. I will guide you through the rest of the steps until you are strong enough to heal yourself without me or any other therapist.
You are all that which you seek
Even though there may be some contraversy regarding what I am about to say from a biological viewpoint (or spiritual viewpoint), please bare with me during the following metaphor to illustrate that we are "all that which we seek":
When we come into this world, we come in as a perfect sphere. As we go through life, we (that sphere) get chipped away at by the trauma that we all go through in our lives, especially the earlier parts of our lives. As we get chipped away at, those chips start going off to the side somewhere. They have not been destroyed, just displaced and replaced by those negative thoughts and beliefs systems we get as a result of being traumatized. Negative beliefs about ourself and our place in the world now take over those spaces where those now displaced chips used to be.
The more traumatized we get, the more chips are chipped away and displaced "out of sight" into our "shadow side". But, know they have only been displaced and not destroyed. As we learn how to let go of those negative beliefs about ourself we can them retrieve those positive "chips" that were chipped away earlier. And, believe it or not, your negative beliefs will let go relatively easy, because they are not real. They only seem real because we have let them become so powerful in our lives and have let them take over. Those positive "chips" we earlier displaced are what is real and that is why they only were able to slip "out of sight" and not go away entirely. They are only hidden underneath all the negative stuff but still there and easily retrieved. I will help you do that.
As you will see when you look through the various therapeutic methods I use, every form of therapy in my program is specifically designed to:
- let go of the negative and bring back the positive
- teach and empower you to help yourself, and (instead of relying on others to get you better
- help you get better faster, easier, and more effectively (versus spending years in talk therapy)
Native American Philosophy
According to Native American philosophy, as well as other cultures, life is cyclical. We do not die. We simply return to the "spirit world" because we are spirits in bodies here to learn our lessons to elevate our souls. So, when we "return to the spirit world" we figure out what our "lessons' are to be learned for the next time around (the next lifetime). After we figure out what our next lessons are to be we choose our parents to give us those lessons.
Those lessons are called "the Sacred Hurt". "Sacred" because these lessons, when learned, will help us to elevate our souls. "Hurt" because these lessons are not going to be learned by having everything be nice and wonderful all the time. We need to be challenged in order for us to motivate ourselves. If everything was nice and wonderful all the time there would be nothing to inspire us to change or go beyond where we already are. So, this "Sacred Hurt" is given to all of us at birth (this is the part of us that gets "screwed up") and it is up to us to be able to transcend beyond that hurt however we can.
The way I believe we transcend beyond that "Hurt" on a spiritual basis is to be able to find ways to love, accept and forgive that "Hurt". I know now that we can do this by learning how to love, accept, and forgive ourselves in relation to that "Hurt" and, then, we can (perhaps at the same time) learn how to love, accept and forgive those that have given us that "Hurt", thus elevating our souls at the same time.
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