Stress is in the “Eye” of the Beholder
As we have just seen, it is the observer’s own individual insecurities and feelings of limitation that cause Stress to occur within that individual because their perception is that “the demands of a particular situation exceed their personal and social resources that they are able to mobilize.”
So, to take it to another level, what causes our individual insecurities and thoughts/feelings of limitation? What is it that determines our thinking of whether or not we have the “personal and social resources” that we need to fulfill the demands of a particular situation?
Here’s the breakdown:
The Cognitive Behavioral (C.B.T.) equation for Behavior is:
Our Thoughts/Beliefs = Our Feelings = Our Behavior
Positive thoughts/beliefs = positive feelings = positive behavior
Negative thoughts/beliefs = negative feelings = negative behavior
Therefore, our Thoughts/Beliefs = Our Reality!
Positive thoughts/beliefs come from positive experiences in life
(If we have positive thoughts and beliefs we are more confident, trusting, have better relationships, and do better in life in general)
Negative thoughts/beliefs come from negative experiences in life
(If we have negative thoughts and beliefs we are less confident with more insecurities, feel we have more limitations, are less trusting, have less satisfying relationships, and do poorer in life in general)
So our insecurities and feelings of limitation that cause our individual Stress come from our adverse life experiences that cause the negative thoughts/beliefs we have about ourselves.