Most people equate Relieving stress with Releasing stress. The two expressions are synonymous in our culture. When I talk about these two concepts I see them as having a distinct difference. To “relieve” means to reduce, alleviate, soothe, ease, lessen, diminish, to make less serious, to cause to become less severe. To relieve is a temporary fix and you have to continue relieving stress over time to achieve the same benefits. To release means to set free, to let go of once and for all.
Up to this point in time our culture has been focused on how to temporarily relieve stress and not on being free of stress once and for all. Perhaps this is because we have not known how to Release Stress once and for all until now.
To explain what I mean we have to briefly revisit the definition of Stress (“a condition or feeling experienced when a person perceives that demands (of a particular situation) exceed the personal and social resources the individual is able to mobilize”). Our Stress is created because of our insecurities and our thoughts and feelings of limitation related to how much we think we can handle when confronted with a task or situation. These insecurities and feelings of limitation come from the conditioning of our negative life experiences, especially our negative childhood experiences. So, in essence, our insecurities and feelings of limitations were given to us by our environment as we were growing up.
Since they were “given” to us they can also then be Released. They are not who we truly are. They are things that have been added on since our birth. And they can be taken away again.
Throughout our lives, we experience events which can cause significant mental and emotional distress. It can be a single isolated experience or can occur as a series of events. Either way, these events are traumatic and can leave us with feelings of anxiety, worry, fear, panic, depression, anger, etc.
Typically, we aren’t even aware that these adverse experiences from our past are affecting us negatively and causing dysfunction in our lives on a daily basis. We can spend years talking about the feelings we’re experiencing and trying to figure out logically where they have come from. We might even develop ways to live with, “cope with” or “manage” these feelings.
Our traumatic memories are accompanied by negative feelings caused by our adverse life experiences. For whatever reason, they get “stuck” in the deeper parts of our brains and are typically out of reach of the conscious mind and its cognitive and language capacity. That is why this kind of deep processing cannot be accomplished by traditional talk therapy.
An example of a single isolated experience is when a person who experienced a car accident years ago continues to be affected in the present, being highly anxious while driving now.
And, a real personal example of more complex mental/emotional conditioning from my childhood that has influenced me throughout my life is my once held belief that I was stupid. The incredible irony is that I started developing this belief (or the belief became much more entrenched) when my parents were told by my 6th grade teacher that I was going into the 7th grade honors program.
You would think it was a good thing, but, coming from a blue collar family and neighborhood, each one of my family members got intimidated by it in their own way and started conditioning me in one way or another to make me think I was stupid.
Even though I was the first in my family to go to college, it took me four colleges and more than 20 years to get my bachelor’s degree (at 40 years old). A good ending to this part of the story is that I graduated from my fourth college with honors and got into the “Who’s Who of American Colleges and Universities”. I was also one of 30 students out of 700 applicants to be accepted into the Columbia University Social Work School advanced standing program and graduated at 41 years old.
So, even though I was obviously not stupid I eventually became convinced that I was. Strange? Not really. That’s what trauma does. It causes negative conditioning that is not true and that then makes us believe we are something we are not. And all of our negative thoughts and beliefs are exactly that, thoughts and beliefs that are not true, just results of some kind of trauma, be it big trauma or little trauma. (For more info on how trauma effects us in life, go to the ACEs Study results at:
When I realized intellectually that I wasn’t stupid because of the scenario I just explained, I started questioning why did I feel so stupid when, intellectually I knew I couldn’t be if I was accepted in honors way back then. In my search to heal myself of this malady I started to find alternative therapy methods that could actually Release my thoughts, feelings and belief that I was stupid. And now that I know these methods I am able to help others Release the negative thoughts, beliefs and feelings that are causing Stress and dysfunction in their lives.
So when I say you’re going to be able to release your Stress, I’m talking about using the releasing methods I’m going to introduce to you now. These methods will enable you to work on and Release those issues (the insecurities and feelings of limitation) that are causing you to be “stressed out”. When you work on this issue until it releases, it will simply not exist anymore and you will no longer be stressed out by it.
This is why the 7 effective methods
I am about to introduce are so important
for our mental, emotional and physical health.
The more Anxiety, Worry, Fear, Panic, Depression, Anger, Guilt and Shame you RELEASE
the more Relaxed, Happy, Confident, Peaceful and Successful you will become.
GIVE ME A CALL!
I WILL HELP YOU
TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE!