Trauma Therapy
When Will the Pain Go Away?
I’m not feeling good about what happened.
I’m thinking about it too much, and it makes me feel ill.
Can’t sleep. Having headaches, nightmares.
I get scared easily. Not feeling safe around others.
Want it to stop. What do I do?
There are Big “T” Traumas and Little “t” traumas
Big “T” Trauma
Big “T” Trauma is the kind of trauma that we all think about when we think of what trauma is. Those significant negative occurrences in life that immediately come to mind might be a car accident, rape, death of a loved one, natural disaster, assault, physical or sexual abuse, bodily injury, terrorism, or witnessing a death, etc. Any one of these can lead to a wide range of symptoms associated with intense anxiety, depression, shock, or numbness.
But these Big “T” traumas are not the only kind of trauma from which people suffer. So-called Little “t” traumas are not acknowledged or talked about as much but can be more damaging over time because they are much more insidious and harder to define as trauma. Therefore, often they are not adequately addressed or treated. They have a just as big, if not bigger, impact on our lives.
Although they are considered lesser traumatic experiences, they can still be very distressing and debilitating. We become “conditioned” to the adverse effects of these traumas often without being consciously aware of how much this “conditioning” affects us regularly in our daily lives.
Little “t” traumas are the ones that are harder to recognize, as is their impact on us.
Some examples of Little “t” trauma are emotional abuse, learning problems, stress at work or school, bullying or harassment, failures, loss of significant relationships, non-life-threatening injuries, death of a pet, or any event or ongoing situation that causes distress, fear, and a sense of helplessness.
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The Trauma Tree and the Effects of Trauma
This tree represents how the amount of trauma, or negative life experiences we undergo in our earlier lives, greatly influences and creates the “roots” of our emotional and behavioral foundation for the rest of our lives. From these distressful experiences come our negative thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions about ourselves. These negative beliefs branch out and create our negative thoughts and feelings, causing our Anxiety, Depression, Fear, Anger/Rage, even some of our Physical Pain, etc.
The Leaves of the tree represent our dysfunctional behaviors (i.e., overeating, drug/alcohol abuse; working or shopping too much; being a Perfectionist, a People Pleaser, Procrastinator, etc.) which are attempts to cover up or avoid our negative feelings.
There is also growing recognition within the healing professions that trauma is held in the psyche and the body. And, traumatic life experiences, whether physical or emotional, are significant factors in the development and maintenance of at least 80%-90% of the medical problems encountered in health care today. 75% of requests for medical care are linked to the actions or consequences of the accumulation of stress/trauma on the human body.
According to The American Psychological Association, most office visits to the doctor today involve trauma and stress-related complaints. Stress/trauma is often linked to the six leading causes of death: heart disease, cancer, lung ailments, accidents, cirrhosis of the liver, and suicide.
Some case examples of those whom I have helped release their trauma:
Sexual Trauma
Rachael was attacked while attending school in big city in Massachusetts in her freshmen year. She’s now a junior and wishes to let go of the trauma that continues to plague her after two years of attending that college.
Even though she was able to fight off her attackers before things got too out of hand, she was anxious all the time, especially in the evenings, which is the time of day she was accosted two years ago after working out in the school gym.
She still had great difficulty getting a good night’s sleep and has had ongoing nightmares since the incident.
Since being in therapy, her anxiety has decreased significantly, her sleeping has improved dramatically, and her nightmares are practically nonexistent at this point.
Even though Rachael’s therapy could be coming to an end soon because she is close to releasing all the trauma around her sexual assault, she realizes that she has a lot more she wants to work on. Other issues have been very problematic for her, such as her people-pleasing and perfectionism.
Lost her father at a very young age
Sheila’s dad was murdered when a robbery went wrong when she was six years old. Even though she was very young when her father was killed, she has clear memories of playing with her father, being happy, and feeling safe.
When her father died, she remembered the house “went dark,” meaning that all the life seemed to have left it, and nothing but sadness that she was forbidden to talk about. She not only was told she couldn’t ask questions about her father’s death, but she wasn’t allowed to talk about her father anymore, period.
Sheila is now in her 30s and wanted to reclaim the feelings of joy and safety she knew got buried when her father died. She wants to “learn how to mourn” so she can regain her good feelings again.
Sheila worked on this issue for several sessions and, after releasing much grief and sadness, she was able to reconnect with those feelings of love and safety that she felt when her father was alive. Her spiritual beliefs also allowed her to feel and believe that her father was still with her, watching over her.
Emotionally Abandoned by mother
Georgia was a woman in her 40s whose mother abandoned her emotionally from childhood and “was never there for me emotionally.” She now realizes how much this has affected her relationships with others as she grew up, especially directly with her husband and kids.
She had shut off her feelings and felt like she did not deserve to be loved or was good enough to have and appreciate good things in her life. She thought she was not worth being cared about.
Georgia worked for quite some time on these deepest issues, releasing many layers of grief and sadness. She reached a point where she could clearly separate that her mother could not show love or affection because of her upbringing and not because Georgia was not lovable or worthy of being loved.
Toward the end of Georgia’s therapy, she stated: “I feel acceptance… forgiveness… it doesn’t bother me anymore.” – G.M.
Car Accidents Creating Difficulties
Steven came into therapy because he wanted to work through his trauma related to a series of car accidents that happened a few years ago and continued until the accumulation effect of the accidents made it so Steven couldn’t drive on highways anymore for fear of getting into another accident, fearing that the next one would be the last.
Steven did not drive on highways for ten years due to his fears and went through great pains to find alternate routes to work, social events, vacations, etc., so he wouldn’t have to drive on highways.
Steven worked on each of his accidents from the past until all the emotional charges were released from each one of them. When therapy was ending and without any encouragement from me to go back and try to drive on the highway, I got this text from him, saying, “…Guess who just got off the highway! All thanks to you.” S.J.
What would it be like to be free from pain?
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Once the disturbing memories (along with any “extra-charge” of emotion connected to the memories) are released, so, too, are the issue(s) that the client initially came to work on. Length of treatment depends on the intensity and duration of the disturbing event/events the client experienced that initially caused their disturbing memories and dysfunctional behaviors.
When you release your negative thoughts, beliefs, and feelings caused by the trauma in your life, you will be calmer, happier, more confident, and more successful!
Before the Rainbow
There’s Got to Be Rain
Before there’s Joy in your Heart
There’s Got to be some Pain
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Testimonial
“Meeting you has been a life changer for me. The negative feelings and thoughts that I always had, have now left my daily life and opened the door for a positive attitude for living. Fear and anxiety no longer dominate me and through this journey you have always been compassionate, caring, patient, and encouraging. You have taught me the tools to handle my fears so I could be more independent and take more control of my life. I am stronger, more sure of myself, and happier. Thank you very much.”
R.C.